On the third day of my trip to Jamaica last month I took Cai's hand and led him onto the road to visit a friend who has a business in the community. While I was catching up with with my friend and his wife a small group of his customers joined the discussion that morphed from "how is your family?" to a spirited debate on politics and the economy. As the small crowd grew a tall, loud man came onto the scene and said "A who dis Christine, you rememba mi Christine?" I said, "Yes I rememba yu Gary". Gary enquired about Cai's age and when I told him 2 1/2 he responded, "Mi rememba wen yu was fi him age how yu nearly ded". I was curious to hear more about my 'near death' experience and I curiously prodded for more.
The story goes. One night I became really sick with asthma and my mother rushed me to the nearest Doctor about 10 miles away. The Doctor refused to see me because he claimed that my mother had switched my care to a new Doctor in Santa Cruz (about 20 miles away). In spite of cries from my mother and threats from Gary and the Driver he never saw me, I had to be immediately rushed to the hospital where I received treatment. As Gary told the story I remember that my mother told me the same story a few years ago, so I knew it was true and he was not platforming as a hero for the small crowd.
A week later I am in a supermarket in Santa Cruz when I recognized the familiar face of a tall Indian man with physical features weathered by age but the same spirited voice and vibe. This was Danny, a family friend. Danny greeted me and then started to tell me a story about a night when he had to drive my mother and Gary to the Doctor because I became very sick... Same story as my mothers and Gary, a sad but triumphant story that is a part of a chronicle of stories about my battle with asthma.
I am reflecting on these stories because just two weeks ago I had an asthma attack, the first in nearly a decade. As each year progressed asthma free and even allergy free I felt like I had the right combination of diet and homeopathic remedies (esp. the neti pot) to finally believe that I am "growing out my asthma". I remember when I was pregnant over three years ago I told the Doctor that I have a history of asthma but I feel that "I am growing it out". He laughed and wrote me a script for an inhaler with the warning, "You can't take any chances, you must have this in case something happens". Late last year I threw out the unused and expired inhaler with the confidence that I was finally asthma free. Yes, I was finally "growing it out".
"But you really don't, do you?"
"I am Christine Lee, I am 38 years old, and on Thursday night I suffered an asthma attack"
This reflection started at age 2 1/2 years and 35 1/2 years later I am talking about the same disease.
I guess you never can "grow it out", I am not invincible or as healthy as I think I am. I reflect on the remedies over the years. The pharmaceuticals, Franol,Ventolin, Benadryl and the countless Jamaican herbs, comfrey, garlic tea, leaf of life, fever grass and ganja infused in rum. All useful in their respective ways. The pharmaceuticals were fast and effective but had severe side effects. The herbs took a long time to work. For an asthmatic time is of the essence.
Tick, tock every second, every shortened breath feels like the last breath
"God help me. Mommy please keep praying. I want to sit up, I can't breathe when I lay down. Rub some more tiger balm on my chest. I feel like I am dying".
So many times I have been saved, "thank you Lord"! and each time is a reminder that I must stay close to my saviors, human and heavenly. I must give thanks always and I must tell my story. We can control but not "grow it out" as asthmatics and friends and family of asthmatics we must always be vigilant in controlling but always be aware and alert to the disease, the speed of its onset and its potential dire consequences if left untreated.
"Peace and good health"
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